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2005-11-03 - 4:32 p.m.

How on earth do you explain to a five year old that his mother has died and is not coming back.

A good friend of mine passed away from a pulmonary embolism. She was 33, and left behind a wonderful husband and four adorable young children.

Because I have strong spiritual beliefs I have always thought myself very strong when it comes to death. As I stood there in the church while her family all walked in for the funeral my heart broke and the flood of tears started when her sweet husband walked in carrying their five year old little boy sobbing his poor heart out. How is he going to make it without his mommy? I haven't been able to stop crying up all afternoon.

It really makes me so grateful for my family. I have four beautiful children and the most wonderful Husband anyone could ask for. I am so blessed and I don't ever want to forget or take advantage of it. I am going to make sure I tell them I love them a hundred times a day, kiss them whenever they get close enough to me and make sure they have the most wonderful childhood, one they will look back on and remember forever. I am going to be the kind of wife and mother that will make my Mother proud.

It's funny how it takes a tragic death of someone close to you to help you take a good look at your life and hold all those you love just a little closer, speak a little kinder and cherish life just a little more.

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