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2004-03-09 - 1:50 p.m.

Last night was so strange. I was dreaming that my sweet husband has just died in a plane crash. I don't think I have ever felt such a crushing sadness ever before in my life. I remember sobbing in my sleep and wondering how I was going to go on without him. After what seemed like forever I woke up and my mind could not in it's grief understand that in reality the love of my life was alive and sleeping beside me. It took a while but repeating over and over "it was just a dream" sunk in and I was able to go back to sleep.

Ok now the strangest thing, I started dreaming right away like I always do but I dreamed I was telling people in my dream about my dream of Scott dying. However, the story had changed slightly. He apparently had an affair in the dream (not in real life) and now I was angry with him.

That has never happened before when I explain a previous dream in a new dream with new people.

I just hope that this dream never comes true. Maybe I will just make sure that he never gets on a plane without me. Heh.

I am so screwed up.

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