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2003-05-27 - 11:38 a.m.

Every night I lie in bed and my mind runs wild with a million things. I amaze myself with the things I think of. I work nights, I've always been a night person. I usually can't sleep until at least 1:00 am. So what do I do? I think, I contemplate. I wonder and replay all that has happened during the day. I decided I need this so I can keep track of all these wild thoughts.

I'm a bartender/server at a awesome resturant. I love it. I love talking to people and making them happy with food, I guess that's the mother coming out in me. Although I always loved making delicious treats and seeing people close their eyes and savor every bite. People say that if you want to know what you really want to do when you grow up is look back on your childhood and remember what it was that you "played". Strangely enough I played resturant. I would make a menu and have my friends sit and decide what they wanted and I played hostess, waitress, and chef. I also played "charlie's angels" so I suppose I might be just as happy being a private investigator. You just never know.

Last night was really strange. I was working and one of my co-workers became upset with me, I tried talking to him but he was being a real ass. So I pulled a "girl". I started crying and made sure everyone saw, yet made an attempt to hide it. I was so pissed off it wasn't hard to muster up a few tears. When everyone told Kyle he was being a freaking ass I had a hard time supressing a evil grin of triumph. He deserved it. Why shouldn't I use my sweet exterior as a last resort. He felt like a jerk and I won. I tried talking and working it out like an intelligent human being but when push comes to shove. I am a lot stronger than I look.

We will see what happens tonight.

Heh.

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