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2005-07-25 - 2:51 p.m.

My stupid sugar is high. Now I have to take the three hour test to see if I have gestational diabetes.

If I try and cut down on something I usually end up craving it even more. I've tried to cut back on sugary sweet things but now that I shouldn't have it for fear I have diabetes I can't seem to stop myself. I'm out of control!

My mind keeps saying that I don't know if I have it or not so if this is the last time I can have chocolate or ice cream or cheesecake or...you get the idea, then I'm going to have it!

Ashley is gone to Oakcrest girls camp for the entire week, it seems so strange to have her gone. Jackson and Noelle have been fighting all day and I'm about to freak out.

Today is pioneer day and we usually have a barbecue but my Mother called and said my Father is doing a roast beef dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy....I'm thinking "what the?" Are you serious? Today is like the second fourth of July, there are fireworks and parades and not to mention it's freaking stifling hot! Who in their right mind does a Sunday meat and potatoes dinner on a day like today? I suppose I just answered my own question, MY FATHER! I might mention that he is not in his right mind. He seriously is in need of manic depression medication. He also likes to cook broccoli until it's so done that you can squish it between your teeth. Ugh, I'm totally gagging right now. I was craving mac and cheese so I had a bowl, I was hoping that it would spoil my dinner (That such an old saying, my Mom would always say that.) We are eating at four. Yes, four. Who is hungry at four? Especially for roast beef? So I told Scott I'd go pick up something to barbecue later on.

My parents are psycho.

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